My Aching Back: Or Any Injury That Is Ineligible For Surgery

For my knees, reconstructive surgery was the only answer.  But when it came to the injuries to my spine resulting from getting hit by a car, there wasn't any torn tissue therefore there was nothing to surgically repair or replace.  I had spine injections--which are surgery but not corrective--and they worked for a couple of months of relief from the worst pain, but ultimately I had to either find a solution or live a lifetime of pain.

I was hit from the side with the car striking both my left knee and the front end of the bicycle directly, which then struck my other knee and ankle.  So my lower half went right and my upper half went left onto the car and then the roadway.  The bike was shot out from under me like a billiard ball, but not before torquing so hard that the Mavic racing wheels both--front and rear--twisted and snapped.  Being that my wheels are made of tougher stuff than I am, you can imagine the force on my spine.  You could jump on those wheels several times and the most damage you would be able to do is bend them a bit--they wouldn't taco and snap like they did when I was hit--so you can imagine what this did to the bone, muscle, and ligaments of my body.

Crashing doesn't compare in the least with getting hit by a car weighing more than a ton.

Anyway, immediately after the accident and for the next couple months I hurt all over.  I was actually afraid to have MRIs done of my hips because I thought I might have to have surgery on at least the left one.  But when it came to my spine I didn't hesitate to have it thoroughly checked out.

The MRIs revealed that I have several herniated discs in both my lumbar and thoracic spine as the result of getting hit, and later x-rays revealed that my spine is twisted in two places.

I was sent to a spine surgeon who said the damage wasn't severe enough to require surgery.  Basically what this means is, after surgery I might not be as functional as I would be if I didn't have it.  So the spine surgeon sent me to a pain specialist who performed a series of epidurals (spine injections) on my lumbar.  While this relieved the very worst of the pain for some time, it was temporary and actually didn't do anything about the cause of the pain.  I was told that eventually, over several years, the herniated discs should get better, but that they wouldn't be as they were before I was hit by the car.  He also told me that he could not perform this same procedure on my thoracic--so no surgery and no pain relief there.

A few months after the injections I felt the pain was almost as bad as it had been before receiving the injections, so I started to get desperate.  I turned to a nearby acupuncturist.  While the acupuncture helped in the couple of months that I tried it, particularly with all the muscle, tendon, and ligament injuries, I didn't feel it was helping my spine.

I then considered laser surgery, but before I tried something invasive I thought I would give a chiropractor a shot, and many of my friends highly recommended I try this option.

Looking on the internet, I found a chiropractor whose narrative was one of his own injury and pain, and how traditional chiropractic methods did not provide him long term relief, but when he was treated with a new technique where they actually move the bones into the correct position rather than simply relieving pain he experienced much better personal results.  In particular, he mentioned cycling, and as I am a cyclist this is what really sold me on trying out his practice.

Until going to the chiropractor ( Dr. Dominick M. Fazzari ) my pain was unending and intense.  On a scale of 10, at times the pain in my spine was a 9 (near tears) and most of the time it was a 7.  There was no position, sitting, standing, or laying down which was pain free.  Most particularly in my thoracic, the change was very impressive.

I have to say there still is no position which is pain free, but the pain has become more generalized, therefore less intense.  There have also been very positive changes particular in my posture and the alignment of my hips--so I limp less severely as a result of the chiropractor's treatment.  I remember thinking after the first couple of treatments that I limped in, but I walked out.

The main point of this whole story is, it's important to not only get a second opinion when you hit a wall on treatment, but to try various treatments to find a solution that will work for you.  The surgeons and pain specialists would never recommend a chiropractor for example, but they would recommend the acupuncturist.  And while the acupuncturist was very effective, ultimately much like the pain specialist, it was not the ultimate solution.

Ultimately, it's going to take years and a combination of treatments to get my spine and knees to full function again, but I am confident that so long as I continue the effort I will eventually recover full, pain free functionality.

Survival Mentality: Keep Your Spirits Up, Have Goals

I was watching an interview of Bear Gryllis by Anderson Cooper on CNN and was struck that he said the same things I say to people about surviving all sorts of extreme situations, such as physical rehabilitation, unemployment, or an even more serious personal tragedy.  He even has the same favorite quote by Winston Churchill who said, "If you are going through hell, keep going."

Most people don't realize that Bear at one time broke his back in three places.  His spine!  He went through a year of rehabilitation, and then climbed Mt. Everest with his father, who initially taught him how to climb as a child.

And of course everyone knows Lance Armstrong's story.

Thoughts of doom and gloom can be self-fulfilling.  If you don't have the will to persevere, to survive, then you wont--whether it's coming back from a terrible injury, an illness, being literally trapped and waiting for rescue, loss of a loved one, the end of a dear relationship, or unemployment.  People who are great survivors aren't usually survival experts, they typically have something else that sustains them and makes them more than the sum of their experience.  It could be faith, family, or a sense of mission for example. 

In my case, I've been though hard times in my life, particularly in the last several years, and I've won every time.  So getting hit by a car, going through surgeries, and rehabilitation is comparatively easy.  I am determined that this isn't going to end my lifelong love of cycling or active lifestyle, and with that in mind I have already bought my replacement bike: a 2011 Trek Madone 5.2 .

Sweet, right?

Today's Independent Medical Examiner is a Chiropractor

I have to go to the Independent Medical Examiner today. This one is a chiropractor. Basically, this is where no matter how injured you may be, the doctor is paid to say you are fine so the insurer can deny your claim. You could lose a leg and the IME would say you walked normally and required no further treatment.

I notice that they always have these examinations here in New York City in the most difficult to get to areas, and when you get there the waiting area is designed for discomfort, especially for the disabled.

The last IME appointment I went to, I had to wait about three hours and my spine was killing me. While there, I met someone who had been sent to an IME four times in a row and each time, after waiting for hours, they told him that they were done for the day and would have to reschedule him. I told him that legally they couldn't do that--as it was clearly unreasonable. The strategy was obviously that this person is very seriously injured, that there's no denying it, but if you keep requiring him to go to these appointments eventually he will miss one and then they can not only cut off his claim but refuse to pay any outstanding charges for treatment he has already received.

Lovely business, insurance.

When You Can't Go Cycling Due to Disability: Exploring Your Other Interests

In my case, cycling is my main thing, but you may have an activity which is just as dear to you which you can't do after an accident.

One time, when my wife and I had begun dating seriously, she actually said to me while standing in my apartment in Narashino, Chiba, Japan--which was more like a bicycle garage with a bed and a TV in it than a place to live--"You love cycling more than me, so you have to choose--me or cycling."  I smiled and replied, "It was nice knowing you."  I wasn't calling her bluff; I thought I shouldn't have to give up riding my bicycles for the sake of a relationship.  If I couldn't be a cyclist, then I couldn't be me, and therefore could not be happy.

She huffed, but didn't leave after presenting this ultimatum, and these days she actually looks forward to and supports my avid cycling habit--because it gets me out of the house and she gets to spend quality time with the television without distractions.

So fast forward to post-October 2010 when I became unable to go cycling.  I'm home for all but doctor appointments and physical therapy and particularly at first both of us were genuinely miserable with this new reality we suddenly found ourselves in, where I would not be riding at all.

I dealt with this exploring my other interests more deeply.  I started writing and reading more again--as I used to before moving to New York City--had just managed to save up for a planned purchase of a telescope and all its related equipment a few months later, and I have been strengthening both my practice of Nichiren Buddhism as well as the various wonderful relationships I have in my life with friends, peers, and family.  Despite being genuinely sad about not riding, I was able pour myself into other things which I could do.  I now absolutely love Astronomy, have rediscovered my love of reading several books at a time, writing, and something I used to not enjoy at all which is driving.  In fact, I think this time I've had to reflect on my hobbies and other talents will positively change my career and academic path.  I've even made some new friends amongst whom are professional Astronomers, and even an engineer from the Apollo missions.

While I consider it fortunate that I was hit in October, at the end of the season, so that I effectively will have only missed one full season of bicycle tours if I fulfill my goal and start riding again this Spring, I have also discovered that I am not some miserable bloke with only one joy in life--oh, yeah, and I have a wife too so I guess we have to count her in and call it two joys in life.

I don't feel it will be very hard to get back into cycling at least as strongly as I did before, especially as my many cycling friends have been simultaneously teasing and encouraging me to ride with them.  I don't think they even know what I look like in regular clothes!  At the same time, I don't want to toss aside this wealth of rediscovered interests and the new friends I have gained along the way.

In fact, as soon as I'm settled in a job and riding again, I'm strongly considering taking courses in film school.