CrossFit As Physical Therapy After Long Term Disability

If you read my last post before this, you would see that I was struggling with my weight, strength, overall fitness, and motivation.  I had less than 500 kilometers on my cycling computer and had set some fairly reasonable goals for the end of this year and 2014.

So I'm glad to report that after determining that I just wanted to surpass 1000 kilometers for this year, and being told by my friends that it was too ambitious, I very easily passed 1200 kilometers by mid-October.  However, I did not fulfill my goal of doing one century (100 mile) ride this year because I've had some struggles with returning to work life and frankly didn't want to spend the money.  But I did enter one metric century riding from Deefield, MA up to southern Vermont and back with my brother called the D2R2, and though I didn't ride the full hundred (I took a shortcut and ended up doing 85k) it was a great experience.

The most enlightening part of that experience wasn't how much I struggled up 12% and steeper climbs on sand and gravel, but the photo my brother took of me in my lycra before we started.  I looked at it later and said to him, "Really?  I'm THAT FAT now?"  And he said, "Yes.  I was trying to put it to you gently."

Not saying I haven't made tremendous progress, but that photo was a real kick in the pants--and those pants should have been extra-extra-large.  When I compare it to a photo of me just a couple of months before I was hit by the car it's hard to believe it's the same person.  I immediately started a gallery on Facebook called "John Get His FAT ASS Back on the Bike" and have been posting clothed body shots of myself before rides and workouts just about weekly.  Some of my friends have told me this has been a great source of encouragement for them.

In my mind, I'm still just as strong and lean as I was before I was hit.  Numbers on a scale don't tell me otherwise, and failing to finish an event or finishing but struggling for every inch seems to only have an effect of bringing my attention to the reality of the situation of only about a week.

While my struggles with my physical and professional comeback have been making progress, I definitely see how I should have been trying harder.  As my wife said, "It's not your fault you were hit by a car."  But at the same time I am the only one who is in control of how hard I exercise or how much effort I put into starting a new career.

Professionally, I have been studying to acquire new skills and update old ones.  Physically, I've started doing CrossFit to regain my athletic abilities as quickly as possible.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, I can only describe CrossFit as 'everything.'  It covers everything.  It's not the same from one workout to the next.  And at the gym I've been going to I don't even have the same instructor from one workout to the next.  So one day I might be doing power lifting and the next running--which are completely different types of training.

The other thing I love about CrossFit is that while I'm still very weak or even the weakest at many things I could have done easily before I was hit, I don't feel embarrassed.  The classes are mixed, so people who are in great shape are working out alongside people who can't do a single pullup.  It's structured so that this isn't a problem, so there is no need for a beginners class and an advanced class--we just have class.

But the bottom line is, the effects of this training especially on the parts of me that I hadn't really worked on at all have been tremendous.  As I wrote in the last post that I still couldn't run or jump, I wasn't really trying either.  Now I might be the slowest one in the Workout Of the Day (WOD) but I'm doing it, and I'm doing better and better each time.  CrossFit training doesn't miss a thing.

So if you're serious about wanting to get back in shape when you have to start from zero, or even if you've never been in shape at all, and you want to do it without having to suffer through ego bashing or pity encouragement, then I can't recommend CrossFit strongly enough.  No sport I've done until now, including running, swimming, or Chinese kickboxing can get you in as good shape in a 'whole' way.

CrossFit is making me whole again.

My Biggest Struggle at the End of Disability is the Ego Crushing Experience of the Comeback

Easily my biggest struggle after Disability is with my weight.  I gained fifty pounds.

Most people lose weight.  My theory on that is, they've never exercised before and all the sudden they're going to Physical Therapy three times a week.  But in my case, I am a lifetime athlete, so Physical Therapy doesn't even represent a small fraction of my normal level of physical activity.

It's also a struggle to be as motivated to go Cycling as I was before I was hit.  For starters, I was in amazing physical condition, and now I'm fat and weak, so it's actually harder for me to do a basic ride in less than ideal conditions now--in great part because I'm dragging another fifty pounds.  But it's also a struggle in terms of routine and habits.

After a year or two of not doing what I normally do, I found that I have to reform those essential habits, including everything from getting my bike ready, to getting dressed, and what I do while I'm actually riding.

It's also somewhat embarrassing.  I can't ride with my old riding buddies yet because I can't keep up, whereas before that was their problem--they couldn't keep up with me and I would have to slow down or wait.  I even tried riding with the slowest possible riders, and while I'm at the point where riding with them isn't a problem, I want to ride as I normally do.

Normal for me is about 4,000 kilometers a year, six or more bike tours a season, at least three of them 100 miles or more (aka a Century).  Right now, for 2013, I have only about 500 kilometers under my tires and most of that is recent.

Last year I did my first tour back on the bike, and challenged a metric century (100 kilometers).  It was brutal.  I was like a beginner out there.  I started out strong, then a flat tire; fixed it, caught up to the stragglers; then another flat.  And there were climbs of 9% and and 12% grade on this tour too.

After that second flat tire, there was no one else in sight.  I was determined to finish the ride no matter what, but I was prepared for the very reasonable possibility of bowing out for the first time ever.  Then, furious at my failure to even keep up with the slowest riders on the tour, I looked down and saw that I had only ten kilometers to go.  This meant that I was going to finish the ride.  At this point I started to cry like a baby.

I'll never forget that moment.  As embarrassed as I was, suffering, in pain, exhausted, it was enough for me just to finish.

I don't mean this to be inspiring.  What I mean by writing this is, you are going to have to face your ego, and overcome your lesser-self, if you really want to regain your full abilities again.  Yes, it helps when people know what I've been through and am going through, and tell me how amazing and encouraging that is to them, but even without that you have to be able to rise above your own limitations.

My determinations for cycling are as follows:
- Ride two 100 mile rides in 2013
- Ride over 3500 kilometers in 2014

I figure if I ride at least 300 kilometers a month through the end of this year and throughout next year, I will have really made my comeback.