My Biggest Struggle at the End of Disability is the Ego Crushing Experience of the Comeback

Easily my biggest struggle after Disability is with my weight.  I gained fifty pounds.

Most people lose weight.  My theory on that is, they've never exercised before and all the sudden they're going to Physical Therapy three times a week.  But in my case, I am a lifetime athlete, so Physical Therapy doesn't even represent a small fraction of my normal level of physical activity.

It's also a struggle to be as motivated to go Cycling as I was before I was hit.  For starters, I was in amazing physical condition, and now I'm fat and weak, so it's actually harder for me to do a basic ride in less than ideal conditions now--in great part because I'm dragging another fifty pounds.  But it's also a struggle in terms of routine and habits.

After a year or two of not doing what I normally do, I found that I have to reform those essential habits, including everything from getting my bike ready, to getting dressed, and what I do while I'm actually riding.

It's also somewhat embarrassing.  I can't ride with my old riding buddies yet because I can't keep up, whereas before that was their problem--they couldn't keep up with me and I would have to slow down or wait.  I even tried riding with the slowest possible riders, and while I'm at the point where riding with them isn't a problem, I want to ride as I normally do.

Normal for me is about 4,000 kilometers a year, six or more bike tours a season, at least three of them 100 miles or more (aka a Century).  Right now, for 2013, I have only about 500 kilometers under my tires and most of that is recent.

Last year I did my first tour back on the bike, and challenged a metric century (100 kilometers).  It was brutal.  I was like a beginner out there.  I started out strong, then a flat tire; fixed it, caught up to the stragglers; then another flat.  And there were climbs of 9% and and 12% grade on this tour too.

After that second flat tire, there was no one else in sight.  I was determined to finish the ride no matter what, but I was prepared for the very reasonable possibility of bowing out for the first time ever.  Then, furious at my failure to even keep up with the slowest riders on the tour, I looked down and saw that I had only ten kilometers to go.  This meant that I was going to finish the ride.  At this point I started to cry like a baby.

I'll never forget that moment.  As embarrassed as I was, suffering, in pain, exhausted, it was enough for me just to finish.

I don't mean this to be inspiring.  What I mean by writing this is, you are going to have to face your ego, and overcome your lesser-self, if you really want to regain your full abilities again.  Yes, it helps when people know what I've been through and am going through, and tell me how amazing and encouraging that is to them, but even without that you have to be able to rise above your own limitations.

My determinations for cycling are as follows:
- Ride two 100 mile rides in 2013
- Ride over 3500 kilometers in 2014

I figure if I ride at least 300 kilometers a month through the end of this year and throughout next year, I will have really made my comeback.

Insurance Basics for Cyclists: Insuring Both Bike and Rider

Today I'm going to discuss the insurance you should have in place to cover you in case of an accident while out on the road.  I'm specifically referring to cycling here, but certainly this applies to all sorts of other applications, including running, or even as a pedestrian carrying virtually any personal possession.

BICYCLE INSURANCE:

The standing myth is that there is no such thing as bicycle insurance in the United States, that if your pricey bicycle were totaled in an accident by you or someone else that you would have to pay for the replacement entirely out of pocket, or that you would need to be a homeowner or car owner to have a bicycle or other non-motorized sports equipment covered.  The fact is insurance for your bicycle and other equipment is actually very cheap, and anyone can get it.

I, for example, have a Renter's Policy with State Farm which covers all my property, including my bicycles, anywhere in the world.  The policy costs me less than $25 a month.  But any Personal Property coverage will cover your bicycles.

As discussed in an early post on this blog, when I was hit by a car in October 2010, I didn't wait to see how much the insurance of the driver who hit me was going to pay for the damage to my bicycle; I called my insurer--State Farm--told them it was totaled, the make, model, and year, included the wheelset, and the make, model, and MSRP of the new bike which would be a 'like or better' replacement.  No inspection, no needing to find a receipt or even say how much I paid for the bike.  I received the cost of the bike less depreciation and deductible (the amount of money I pay out of pocket for each claim, which in this case was $500).  State Farm sent me a check for about $1,500 and when they collected the full amount of the loss from the insurance company of the driver who hit me, they sent me another check to refund my $500 deductible.

The only mistake I made was forgetting I should have also included my helmet in the claim.

HIT AND RUN INSURANCE:

I used to practice looking at license plates and trying to remember the numbers in case of a hit and run, until I realized you can't even read a license plate unless it's right in front of you much less memorize it when you've just been hit by a car.  And even if you could, what if the driver successfully denied hitting you, or they didn't have insurance, or it wasn't a car but another cyclist or pedestrian.  This is where the Uninsured Motorist coverage of your auto insurance kicks in.

By the book, Uninsured Motorist covers you in case you are in a car accident with another driver and they have no insurance or inadequate insurance to compensate you for your injuries--or in the case of a hit and run.  What almost no one realizes is, this also covers you while cycling and as noted above in all other circumstances as well.  You could be walking across the street when you were hit and this insurance would cover you.

So, again to use me as an example, let's say the driver who hit me on that Autumn afternoon fled the scene and we never found her or she had the absolute minimum statutory coverage for Liability--which is $25,000 in New York State-- or no insurance at all, but I had $100,000 or $300,000 in liability coverage on my own car insurance with an Uninsured Motorist limit equal to that.  I could receive, from my own auto insurance, the difference between what the driver's insurance paid and the full amount I should receive up to the limit of my auto insurance policy.  And I wouldn't even have to go after the driver in court to collect this difference because at that point the loss belongs to my auto insurance carrier--so they would go after the driver and even send me any additional funds they collect.

Also note that collecting from your insurance under Uninsured Motorist would impose no penalty on you whatsoever.  Your rate wouldn't go up one penny and this would not effect points on your license.

Unfortunately for me, at the time I did not own a car--though I do now.

LONG TERM DISABILITY / ACCIDENTAL DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT

You know those Aflac commercials, where the guys are sitting in a park with their kids and both have broken legs.  They are Disabled from work.  No work means no pay, and unless you're very wealthy you need to be paid just to pay your bills and live as normal a life as possible until you are able to work again--if ever.  And you don't have to be disabled from a very physical job either.  My job at the time was sitting at a desk, talking on the phone, using a computer, file management, and some travel.  About the worst injury I could have at work would be a paper cut, so I had no idea what my employer could do for me other than maybe give me a couple of weeks of unpaid leave.  I couldn't even sit upright in a chair.

Honestly, before I was hit and became disabled, I thought this coverage only applied if I lost a limb or were killed.  I always bought these coverages in case of that kind of injury so my wife would receive all the money she possibly could.  I always bought the maximum.  It was some time after my injury before I realized I was qualified for even Short Term Disability.  These coverages are typically offered to you as a benefit at work, and they cost very little, but they pay when you need it.

Again, I can only use myself as an example.  I had this coverage but didn't really understand what it was.  Moreover, I had only been at my job a week when I was injured, so I didn't think I could actually collect.  And I didn't realize that my injuries qualified me as 'disabled' because I thought that only applied to permanent disability.  Even when I discovered that I was certified disabled, I had no idea that I would qualify for more than a couple of weeks, much less months, and then years.

I certainly never imagined that I would be so badly injured that I couldn't work for more than a couple of weeks, barring terminal illness which was unlikely for a cycling god like me (right Lance?).

So without going into the details, I recommend you buy all the disability and life insurance that is available to you, and when you are injured immediately file a claim.

NOTE: This is not legal advice and does not represent a professional recommendation.  Each case may be different and you should contact your lawyer or insurance representative about any questions you may have about your coverage and circumstances.  This post also may be edited or deleted in the future at the author's discretion.  But I do sincerely wish that everyone gets adequate coverage in case disaster strikes as it did me.

Today's Independent Medical Examiner is a Chiropractor

I have to go to the Independent Medical Examiner today. This one is a chiropractor. Basically, this is where no matter how injured you may be, the doctor is paid to say you are fine so the insurer can deny your claim. You could lose a leg and the IME would say you walked normally and required no further treatment.

I notice that they always have these examinations here in New York City in the most difficult to get to areas, and when you get there the waiting area is designed for discomfort, especially for the disabled.

The last IME appointment I went to, I had to wait about three hours and my spine was killing me. While there, I met someone who had been sent to an IME four times in a row and each time, after waiting for hours, they told him that they were done for the day and would have to reschedule him. I told him that legally they couldn't do that--as it was clearly unreasonable. The strategy was obviously that this person is very seriously injured, that there's no denying it, but if you keep requiring him to go to these appointments eventually he will miss one and then they can not only cut off his claim but refuse to pay any outstanding charges for treatment he has already received.

Lovely business, insurance.

When You Can't Go Cycling Due to Disability: Exploring Your Other Interests

In my case, cycling is my main thing, but you may have an activity which is just as dear to you which you can't do after an accident.

One time, when my wife and I had begun dating seriously, she actually said to me while standing in my apartment in Narashino, Chiba, Japan--which was more like a bicycle garage with a bed and a TV in it than a place to live--"You love cycling more than me, so you have to choose--me or cycling."  I smiled and replied, "It was nice knowing you."  I wasn't calling her bluff; I thought I shouldn't have to give up riding my bicycles for the sake of a relationship.  If I couldn't be a cyclist, then I couldn't be me, and therefore could not be happy.

She huffed, but didn't leave after presenting this ultimatum, and these days she actually looks forward to and supports my avid cycling habit--because it gets me out of the house and she gets to spend quality time with the television without distractions.

So fast forward to post-October 2010 when I became unable to go cycling.  I'm home for all but doctor appointments and physical therapy and particularly at first both of us were genuinely miserable with this new reality we suddenly found ourselves in, where I would not be riding at all.

I dealt with this exploring my other interests more deeply.  I started writing and reading more again--as I used to before moving to New York City--had just managed to save up for a planned purchase of a telescope and all its related equipment a few months later, and I have been strengthening both my practice of Nichiren Buddhism as well as the various wonderful relationships I have in my life with friends, peers, and family.  Despite being genuinely sad about not riding, I was able pour myself into other things which I could do.  I now absolutely love Astronomy, have rediscovered my love of reading several books at a time, writing, and something I used to not enjoy at all which is driving.  In fact, I think this time I've had to reflect on my hobbies and other talents will positively change my career and academic path.  I've even made some new friends amongst whom are professional Astronomers, and even an engineer from the Apollo missions.

While I consider it fortunate that I was hit in October, at the end of the season, so that I effectively will have only missed one full season of bicycle tours if I fulfill my goal and start riding again this Spring, I have also discovered that I am not some miserable bloke with only one joy in life--oh, yeah, and I have a wife too so I guess we have to count her in and call it two joys in life.

I don't feel it will be very hard to get back into cycling at least as strongly as I did before, especially as my many cycling friends have been simultaneously teasing and encouraging me to ride with them.  I don't think they even know what I look like in regular clothes!  At the same time, I don't want to toss aside this wealth of rediscovered interests and the new friends I have gained along the way.

In fact, as soon as I'm settled in a job and riding again, I'm strongly considering taking courses in film school.